Mental Health During Divorce: 7 Ways to Stay Resilient

Mental Health During Divorce: 7 Ways to Stay Resilient

by Jennifer Hargrave - Dallas Divorce Attorney | May 16, 2025

Episode Summary:

In this insightful episode of The Jennifer Hargrave Show, Jennifer Hargrave is joined by returning guest Jennifer Leister, a licensed professional counselor, author, and owner of Jennifer Leister and Associates in North Texas. Together, they explore mental health during divorce and the vital role that mental health professionals play in the collaborative divorce process.

Jennifer Leister sheds light on the two primary roles mental health professionals can serve during divorce: as neutral mental health professionals (MHPs) facilitating communication and customized parenting plans, and as child specialists who give children a safe space to share their thoughts and concerns. The discussion emphasizes that these professionals do not provide therapy, but instead help families manage conflict, build effective parenting plans, and provide support through the emotional transitions of divorce.

They also tackle sensitive topics, including why children should not be decision-makers in custody arrangements, the importance of giving children a voice without placing them in the middle, and the value of protecting them from the adversarial nature of courtroom litigation. Other topics discussed include coping with divorce anxiety, depression after divorce, warning signs for mental health, therapy during divorce, mental health resources for divorce, self-care during divorce, divorce stress management, and emotional wellbeing after separation.

The episode closes with a deep dive into the advantages of collaborative divorce over traditional litigation, highlighting how it allows for customized, creative solutions that prioritize the family’s unique needs—both during and after the divorce.

Jennifer Hargrave:
If you’re considering divorce, one of the most important things to know about divorce and mental health is that you have options. I’m joined today by Jennifer Leister, a licensed professional counselor, author, and owner of Jennifer Leister and Associates here in North Texas. She works with families navigating divorce and has valuable insights on the collaborative divorce process. Jennifer, thank you for being here.

Jennifer Leister:
Thank you for having me back. I enjoyed our last conversation about the impact of divorce on children. One key takeaway is that it’s not the divorce itself, but the conflict, that often determines outcomes for kids.

In collaborative divorce, a mental health professional can serve two roles. First, as a neutral MHP, I facilitate team meetings and help parents create customized parenting plans. This isn’t therapy—it’s a forensic role. We use clinical skills, but we’re focused on communication and conflict resolution, not treatment.

Jennifer Hargrave:
People often think collaborative divorce is just for couples who get along. But even when couples disagree, the collaborative process—with its team approach—helps families resolve conflict constructively. And you’re not acting as a therapist, right?

Jennifer Leister:
Correct. Even though I’m trained as a therapist, my role in this context isn’t to diagnose or treat. Instead, I help facilitate communication, support parents in developing parenting plans, and manage emotions in the room.

There’s also the role of a child specialist—another type of mental health professional who interviews the children to give them a voice in the process. This role ensures children are heard without placing them in a position of decision-making or having to confront parents directly.

Jennifer Hargrave:
That’s such an important distinction. Sometimes parents believe their children should decide where they want to live, especially teenagers. But that can create pressure.

Jennifer Leister:
Absolutely. Children, even teens, shouldn’t carry the burden of choosing between parents. They want to please both, and that can be emotionally harmful. As a child specialist, I ask open-ended questions to understand their lives, relationships, and concerns, which helps parents make more informed, child-centered decisions.

Jennifer Hargrave:
And in collaborative divorce, that voice is given in a safe, neutral way. It avoids the trap of children being used—unintentionally—as pawns in the process.

Jennifer Leister:
Exactly. Collaborative divorce gives children a voice without giving them the weight of making decisions. It also allows families to build protective, flexible parenting plans with “if and when” clauses that account for future changes like relapse, addiction, or evolving schedules.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Unlike litigation, where outcomes are constrained by the Family Code, collaborative divorce allows for creative solutions tailored to a family’s specific needs.

Jennifer Leister:
Yes. Families retain control. We gather information, develop options, and build solutions based on genuine needs and goals. I always ask parents about their expectations and hopes for life post-divorce. It’s empowering to help families transition in a way that sets them up for long-term success.

Jennifer Hargrave:
And even after divorce, families can continue working with the same MHP as a parenting coordinator—another protective layer to avoid future court battles.

Jennifer Leister:
Exactly. It creates a safe, confidential place to resolve conflict and adjust plans as children grow.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Jennifer, thank you so much for being here and for all you do to support families through such a difficult time.

Jennifer Leister:
Thank you for having me.

Compassionate Dallas Divorce Attorney, Jennifer Hargrave

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Hargrave Family Law was founded by Dallas divorce lawyer Jennifer Hargrave with a strong mission in mind. Using non-adversarial techniques, our firm advocates for you during this challenging life transition in a way that helps you protect what matters most. Reach out to our team of compassionate Dallas divorce lawyers at Hargrave Family Law for the support you need to navigate divorce and other family law matters. We offer a complimentary case evaluation to start your journey with us. Together, we will work towards safeguarding the happiness and well-being of your family, allowing you to write your next chapter with hope.