It can start with a simple question from a child: “Can you buy me that cool backpack for school” However, this simple question can raise complicated issues.
The back-to-school season brings excitement — and back- to-school clothes shopping, new extracurricular activities, and endless supply lists. For co-parents immediately after a divorce, these added expenses may leave them questioning their responsibility for back-to-school expenses. One parent may assume they are splitting everything, while the other parent might argue their “child support” payment should cover everything that their child will need for the new school year. All the child knows is that he or she wants that cool backpack now. Before long, a $60 backpack becomes a source of emotional stress, tension between co-parents, and for your child, a not-so positive start to a new school year.
A similar scenario plays out every Fall across kitchen tables and text threads all over Dallas, Plano, Frisco, Allen, and beyond. And while these items may seem like a small issues for some, confusion around financial roles often leads to resentment, miscommunication, and may even result in unnecessary legal battles.
So how can co-parents prevent back-to-school conflict? It starts with communication and clarity — and a robust parenting plan in your court order that spells out clear expectations for each parent’s financial responsibility for their children’s school and extracurricular expenses above and beyond “child support”.
The Basics of Child Support in Texas – What Really is Included?
In Texas, everything is controlled by actual terms of the orders signed by the judge and “child support” is no exception. “Child support” is normally calculated based on the guidelines found in chapter 154 of the Texas Family Code in general, the parent who is not designating the primary residence of the child is known as the “obligor” for support and pays “child support” and medical and dental insurance premiums. Each parent normally pays 50% of the healthcare expenses not covered or reimbursed by insurance and each is required to provide clothing, food, and shelter while the child is in their possession.
The scope of what is to be covered by the “child support” payments is not spelled out in the Texas Family Code, which is most likely intentional, so parents don’t get in arguments about how money is spent. However, the general interpretation is that, if the order does not mention anything else, payment for anything else is not required. Conversely, payment for anything else generally does count toward “child support”.
“Child support” is calculated using the gross wages of the obligor. Amounts paid for federal and state taxes and the insurance premiums are subtracted to ascertain the net wages of the obligor and then a percentage is applied depending on the number of children in the case and the number of other minor children of the obligor.
This is not to say that parents cannot make agreements in addition to the order of the court and, in fact, they are encouraged to do so. If you want a court to be able to enforce the payment of anything above and beyond “child support”, though, those terms need to be clearly spelled out in the court order.
Common Back-to-School Expenses to Discuss in Advance
Want to avoid last minute scrambling and conflict? Start before a final order is entered and start with a checklist detailing all of the re-occurring back-to-school expenses. Here are common items co-parents in the North Dallas Metroplex should discuss before the school year begins:
- Backpacks and lunch boxes
- Grade-level school supply kits
- Laptop/tablet and educational apps
- Uniforms or dress code-compliant clothing
- New shoes and jackets
- After-school care costs
- School photos and yearbooks
- School registration or activity fees
- Lunch accounts and cafeteria costs
- Tutoring or academic support services
- Sports, arts, and other extracurricular activities
- Field trips, club fees, and school travel
- College-related expenses
The goal is not to itemize every pencil or paper clip — but to agree on categories of expenses and how they’ll be handled.
How Parenting Plans Can Head Off Conflict
Here is where a thorough parenting plan can save you a world of stress, keeping all parties on track to take ownership of support their child’s future. A quick 30-minute planning session can save months of conflict. This parenting plan is then incorporated into your final Order, which makes it enforceable.
Our team of Dallas divorce attorneys often helps our clients build customized parenting plans that go beyond legal minimums. These plans can be tailored to each family, and define which parent is responsible for which expenses — or whether costs will be shared proportionally, and in what percentages.
Examples might include:
- Alternating who buys school supplies each year.
- Splitting back-to-school expenses 50/50, or 60/40, up to a capped amount per parent.
- Designating one parent to handle clothing while the other covers school tech.
The plans should also address how these expenses will be paid and/or reimbursed, such as agreeing to reimburse within 14 days when one parent submits receipts to the other parent.
By addressing these matters up front — and in writing in the final Order — families avoid the “I thought you were covering that” or “that’s not my responsibility” disagreements that often erupt in August.
When One Parent Doesn’t Pay — What Are Your Options?
Even with a well-drafted Order in place, life doesn’t always go according to script, leaving room for debates on how to make sure everyone contributes as required. If one parent refuses to contribute to ordered school (or other) expenses, the options include:
- Communication First: Try resolving it informally. Sometimes a simple reminder or clarification avoids escalation.
- Use Mediation: We recommend revisiting agreements through mediation before filing any Court action.
- Consider Modifications: If agreements are outdated or unrealistic, Courts may allow modifications under Texas Family Code §156.101 if there has been a material and substantial change in circumstances.
- File for Enforcement: If the expenses in question are part of a Court Order and one parent is in violation, a Motion to Enforce may be appropriate. Enforcement should be a last resort — particularly when the disagreement is over discretionary or ambiguous items. Enforcement proceedings can be costly, more than the expenses themselves, and you may end up with just yet another Order the other parent chooses to ignore.
That’s why initial clarity in your original Order matters so much, as this is the standing resource for handling disputes.
Creative Co-Parenting Solutions That Work
At Hargrave Family Law, we’ve seen countless creative, low-conflict solutions that help make co-parenting smoother — especially throughout the school year.
- Shared Amazon Wishlists for school supplies.
- Splitwise for keeping track of expenses.
- Communicating through Our Family Wizard
- Venmo or Zelle reimbursements within a set timeframe
- Setting agreed budgets in advance for clothes, supplies, or tech purchases
- Spreadsheets to track agreed costs throughout the year
At the core of this issue is, as a parent, ensuring your child has what they need to flourish. What you “have to do” and what you “should do” may often be different. This ideally should be a shared commitment by both parents to show up for their child and invest in their overall success moving forward.
It’s Not Just a Backpack — It’s an Opportunity to Keep Your Child’s Best Interests as the Focus
Supporting your child as they navigate the school year is an opportunity to show your child that their success matters. This commitment is a symbol of the small decisions that shape your co-parenting relationship — and ultimately, your child’s sense of security and support from both parents. Your child should not have to worry about asking for that cool backpack because of parental conflict.
By clearly defining financial roles within your Order, you minimize conflict, set clear expectations, and set your child up to feel supported by both parents, allowing them to thrive throughout the school year and beyond.
Need Help Creating a Parenting Plan That Works in Real Life?
Let Hargrave Family Law guide you with compassion, clarity, and strategic insight. Whether you’re negotiating your first custody agreement or modifying an old one, we’re here to help.
📞 Reach out to us at 214-416-9433 or visit hargravefamilylaw.com/ to schedule your Complimentary Case Evaluation with one of our trusted Dallas divorce attorneys to strategize about what is best for your unique family.
Let’s help you protect what matters most — without fighting over backpacks.
