Regardless of whether divorce occurs early or late in life, it can bring special challenges for the parties involved. The transition from married life to divorced life is a significant one, and the vast majority of those who experience divorce may also struggle with the changes it brings.
Increasingly, here in Dallas and statewide, we are seeing more instances of divorce after retirement, or so-called “gray divorces.” Divorce after retirement tend to be particularly challenging since retirement itself also brings with it significant changes that can affect you physically, financially, and mentally. Navigating both transitions at the same time can be overwhelming. However these life transitions also bring with them the gift of opportunity, the chance to reimagine your next chapter and build the life you’ve always wanted.
In this post, we will identify and discuss some of the special challenges this stage of life can present, as well as highlight some of the opportunities this life transition also brings. Divorce is difficult, but there are strategies you can use to ensure that the challenges are surmountable and that you make the most of the opportunities.
Financial Preservation / Wealth Maximization
If you’re a retiree, you likely have a relatively set, limited income – in many cases, income is limited to retirement accounts and pensions, Social Security payments, passive income from rental properties, etc. When divorcing, other factors will come into play regarding how your immediate financial situation will change (i.e. loss of supplemental spousal income and benefits), determining the funds needed to maintain a newly independent lifestyle, which assets from the marriage you especially need or want, and so forth.
In these later years, the primary goal is to preserve your finances as much as possible. There is also no question that maintaining financial health post-divorce as a retiree can be tricky, and will take intention and planning to navigate this chapter well. Toward this end, consulting with certain financial professionals such as CPAs, appraisers, financial planners, etc., is a wise investment to aid in maximizing the results of your financial decisions. Consulting a tax professional will also help you minimize tax consequences as you transition asset ownership, move funds, and time your withdrawals. They can help you ensure you are making decisions with your long-term financial health in mind.
The opportunity here is to make financial decisions that will fund the new life you are building. Financing your dreams, whether it be travel, hobbies, classes, or fitness, will require ensuring you are making the right financial moves now that will support them.
Mental Health Maintenance / Counseling
Divorce after retirement likewise carries important ramifications for mental health and general mental wellbeing. In many cases, retirees struggle with recurring mental health issues following divorce: depression is highly common, as is loneliness, loss of identity, and loss of purpose. It is important for newly divorced retirees to prioritize their mental health as one of their chief concerns. A first step is acknowledging what you are feeling, and knowing it’s not uncommon during this life transition. Reach out to connect with mental health professionals; licensed therapists, counselors, and psychologists are some of the specialists who might be able to provide useful services in this area. As with your finances, your mental health issues post-divorce cannot be improved without focused effort.
The opportunity here is to reconnect with your own core values, how you want them to guide you. Discern what you see as your purpose in this stage of life. Look for ways to express yourself through connections, hobbies, classes, activities. Explore what used to bring you joy and reclaim that.
Maintaining / Building Social Circles
Along with the changes associated with finances and mental health, retirees post-divorce also commonly struggle with issues related to maintaining existing social relationships and building new social relationships. Research clearly indicates that our sense of personal identity and mental wellbeing is highly connected with the quality of our friendships and other social bonds. All of these need attention and energy to sustain. Shifting from being part of a couple to a single person may naturally change some of your past social activities and connections. This can be uncomfortable, even sad. Spotlight those that are in your corner. Expand your connections through some of the activities mentioned above.
The opportunity here is to intentionally focus on what you want this new chapter to look like. Is there a cherished friend you lost touch with? Is there a social group you’ve always wanted to check out? You can expand your circle to include those you lost touch with or that have similar interests. Conversely, are there people in your life that aren’t supporting you that are adding to your stress? You get to choose who you want keep in your life, focusing on those that are cheering you on in this next stage.
Maintaining Relationships with Your Children
You also may find it challenging to recalibrate relationships with your children post-divorce. Obviously, divorce always imposes special burdens on parental relationships with children, but divorce after retirement involves adult children who have their own busy lives to lead and who may also be struggling with the divorce as well. Just as you are working through your own issues, give them space to do the same. If needed, bonds with your children can be improved and strengthened with the services of a therapist or counselor to help everyone communicate constructively.
The opportunity here is to have one-on-one time with your children and grandchildren. Even though your grown children’s lives may be demanding in many ways, look for different ways to be involved. Just as with younger children, they need to know how much they are loved, be assured that they are not at fault for the divorce, and reassured that you are going to be okay.
Contact Hargrave Family Law for More Information
To recap:
- Post-retirement divorces tend to have a specific set of challenges as well as present new opportunities
- Managing / maximizing wealth should be a major focus among newly divorced retirees
- Proactively take charge of your mental health with counseling if needed
- Expend the effort necessary to manage and build your social networks
- Focus on maintaining strong relationships with your adult children, acknowledging that everyone is affected by the divorce
For more information on dealing with the many special challenges and planning for the new opportunities that accompany a post-retirement divorce, learning about the essentials of the divorce process in Dallas, exploring how to file for divorce in in the State of Texas, or any other matter, reach out to us at Hargrave Family Law today. Learn about your options to start writing your next chapter with hope and clarity. We’re here to help.
Collaborative Dallas Divorce Attorney, Jennifer Hargrave
Dallas Divorce Resources
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• Politics, Love, and Divorce: Can Couples Survive Different Beliefs?
• Dallas Divorce Real Estate Insights: What Happens to the House
• Divorcing with Real Estate in Dallas
• Find a Dallas Divorce Lawyer
Don’t Face This Alone – We’re Here to Help
Hargrave Family Law – Compassionate Dallas Divorce Lawyers
Hargrave Family Law was founded by Dallas divorce lawyer Jennifer Hargrave with a strong mission in mind. Using non-adversarial techniques, our firm advocates for you during this challenging life transition in a way that helps you protect what matters most. Reach out to our team of compassionate Dallas divorce lawyers at Hargrave Family Law for the support you need to navigate divorce and other family law matters. We offer a complimentary case evaluation to start your journey with us. Together, we will work towards safeguarding the happiness and well-being of your family, allowing you to write your next chapter with hope.
