Mediation is a dispute resolution process that provides clients with an alternate method to settle issues outside the traditional litigation or trial-based divorce process. Mediation is rapidly becoming a widely used alternative here in the Dallas metroplex and elsewhere throughout the State of Texas. In fact, more and more courts are requiring the parties to go through a mediation in an attempt to come to resolution before scheduling a court trial. Although mediation is hardly free, the cost of mediation as compared with traditional litigation is generally substantially lower, saving time, money, and stress for all involved.
Divorce litigation includes high costs for various things – attorney and paralegal fees to negitiate, prepare for (sometimes multiple) hearings, and attend those hearing; court fees; expert witness fees: exhibit preparation fees; etc. Mediation either avoids or reduces many of these, and cumulatively the effect is usually a much lower overall price tag for a final resolution. Mediation is also the preferred option for many because it occurs outside the physical confines of the courtroom, and for this reason is usually less stressful and more conducive to successful negotiations.
While mediation is becoming an increasingly attractive option for Dallas area divorcing couples, being aware of the how to prepare and walk through the mediation process can be extremely beneficial. Here are a few ways to be optimally prepared for the process of mediation.
Consult with an Attorney to Understand What the Mediation Process Is – And Isn’t
One of the first things you can do to prepare for mediation is to carefully go over the basics of the mediation process itself with an expert attorney. Become familiar with the role of the mediator, how issues are resolved during mediation, how much time mediation typically requires, what happens if mediation fails to resolve all unsettled issues, among other things.
The Basics: In mediation, the mediator basically assumes the role of a facilitator between you and your spouse, as opposed to a decision maker that is a family law judge. The mediator ideally is able to help you negotiate to resolve all the contested issues in the divorce – issues related to custody, alimony, property division, etc. – so that a trial can be avoided. In mediation, the parties won’t need to have any direct contact between each other, as communication is conducted through the attorneys/parties and the mediator. Although the mediator cannot finalize divorce terms in the form of an enforceable divorce court order, they do prepare a mediated settlement agreement that is binding on the parties. The attorneys then convert that agreement into a final order that is approved by a family law judge, which formally concludes the marital dissolution process.
A skilled divorce attorney can walk you through other mediation preparation strategies, will guide you in being prepared with necessary documents and information, and ensure you understand the laws surrounding the issues in contention. Experienced divorce lawyers also know local mediators used in the Dallas area, know your judge that’ll decide issues if mediation fails, and can prepare you accordingly to be ready when mediation day arrives. Having a knowledgeable legal advocate on your side can help you stay focused on what’s important and help the mediation stay on track toward resolution.
Gather & Review All Necessary Documents Prior to Mediation Sessions
In addition to familiarizing yourself with the general mediation process, you should also take time to gather and review all the documents you’ll need. The particular documentation you will need depends both on the specific circumstances of your case and what the mediator tells you they require. If you want primary physical custody, for example, you will need to provide documents in support of that goal: witness affidavits, journals, school records, etc. In many cases with complex property division issues, reports by outside experts may be required, and the burden is on you to acquire those. If, for instance, you want to request the sale of a marital residence, you may need expert valuation of the home as well as the knowledge of a realtor regarding the current housing climate, for which you will be responsible for hiring. Your divorce attorney should have a network of trusted professionals they can recommend.
Although mediation occurs outside the courtroom environment, it’s useful to prepare your evidence sufficiently, as having those tools available during negotiations increases the odds of obtaining favorable agreements on the various issues. In other words, just because mediation is generally less stressful and less expensive doesn’t mean you should approach this process more casually from a preparation standpoint. Gather all the evidence you need to present the strongest case possible on all unresolved issues.
Develop a Strategy on All Disputed or Unresolved Issues
Another necessary step to preparing for mediation is to develop strategic approaches for all disputed issues. When you enter mediation, you want to have a very clear idea in mind regarding your most crucial end goals. Identify your goals on all unresolved issues, and strategize about different pathways to achieve your desired goals. If, for example, you want to argue that you deserve a disproportionate share of the marital assets – say, 60% of the total marital assets – due to alleged misbehavior on the part of your ex-spouse, you want to gather whatever evidence you will need to support that argument. The same applies for whatever other arguments you intend to make on any other issues. Create a list of all the things you want to accomplish from mediation, and then strategize with your attorney a strategy to maximize the odds of each of those things.
It is important to note, however, that one strategy usually isn’t enough. Mediation is a back and forth, give and take, process of a series of compromises. Your priorities may change during the mediation process, and what means the most to you going in may change. You may end up being willing to compromise on something you hadn’t intended to in order to gain something that has become clear means more to you. Your attorney can also remind you of what the default law is surrounding division on that issue, or even what the judge is likely to order given that law, should you not reach a resolution. Sometimes that knowledge alone can inspire you to keep negotiating. Regardless, being flexible starts with knowing what matters most to you and working with your attorney on evolving strategy.
Mediation, While Usually Successful, is Not a Guarantee of Reaching Agreement
You should also be aware of the fact that, while it can be extremely effective, mediation is not a guarantee of any particular outcome. Mediation is not a way to maximize the odds of acquiring specific results, but rather is an alternative method to litigation which can provide advantages and a forum for successful negotiations. even though this route is highly successful and preferred by many, you shouldn’t expect this option to yield ideal outcomes in all instances on all issues. There are some instances in which, even after mediation, you may still have one or two lingering, unresolved disputes which may ultimately require litigation. Most ultimately believe mediation is still worth it.
What is One Thing That Can Sink Your Success at Mediation?
When we prepare our clients for mediation, we of course go over all of the above information and more. However, sometimes most crucial to mediation success are less tangible things: patience, flexibility, mindset, and your laser focus on what’s most important.
Your mindset can make or break your mediation day. We previously mentioned being flexible with your strategic paths to your goals. In order to do that successfully, you need to be crystal clear on what is most important to you: What one or two non-negotiable things do you absolutely need for a hopeful, joy-filled, safe, secure future in which you and your children thrive. And what are you willing to give up to get them? Think of those answers with the knowledge that you will not get everything you want going in. You may also be surprised that your answers may change throughout mediation day, and that’s okay, because you’re staying focused on the new brighter chapter you’re trying to create. It’s also so easy to be drawn into power struggles. That can only happen if you let it. Remain focused on the end game: your new future.
Connect with Hargrave Family Law for More Information About Mediation Preparation
Most mediations are highly successful in resolving all or part of a divorce case and doing so at a reduced cost. Mediation will continue to remain an increasingly popular option for those looking to resolve divorce related disputes. The preparation described here is not a guarantee of any specific outcome, but will give you the best chances of success, especially with a skilled legal advocate right by your side throughout the process.
To recap, here are ways you can prepare yourself for mediation:
- Learn what the mediation process is and what it isn’t
- Gather the right evidence and documentation prior to mediation
- Develop strategies for goals prior to mediation, including the strategy of being flexible
- Go in with the right mindset, one that’s laser-focused on your future
For more information on mediation or the divorce process, reach out to us at Hargrave Family Law today. Learn about your options to start writing your next chapter with hope. We’re here to help.
