Divorce mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution in which a mediator facilitates negotiation of unresolved issues between the two parties in a divorce. During mediation, parties are allowed and encouraged to use an attorney as their advocate, and also present information that will be helpful to the mediator in understanding the issues involved. One of the primary benefits is simply the fact that mediation occurs outside the courtroom; this alone makes mediation a more attractive option to fighting it out in court. Resolutions contained in a mediation agreement are binding, and are incorporated into a final court order that is adopted by a family court judge.
More and more Dallas Metroplex residents are seeing mediation as a viable strategy over the traditional route involving courtroom-based litigation. In fact, many judges require parties to attend mediation in an attempt to keep them out of court.
What is the best way to prepare for mediation? If you intend to settle your issues via mediation, what information do you need at mediation to make the most of this process? In this post, we will discuss ways to utilize mediation as a strategy and offer tips to help you prepare for a successful mediation.
The Benefits of Mediation
If you intend to use mediation as a viable tool to reach resolution, take time to explore all the benefits which can be derived from this process.
Lower Cost:
One of the primary benefits of mediation is lower cost: on the whole, the total cost of a successful mediation is generally lower when compared to traditional litigation. Once all fees are included – mediator, attorney, incidental fees, etc. – the full price tag is usually lower than preparing for and attending a court hearing with witnesses. The cost can still be substantial, particularly if you’re unable to resolve all issues in mediation and end up still going to trial. Certainly, though, the cost of a mediation and avoiding court is a principal reason why this alternative method is seen as an attractive route.
Lower Stress:
Mediation is also a lower stress option compared with traditional litigation. Litigation occurs in a courtroom that’s open to the public, with a judge, a bailiff, court reporters, dress codes, court fees, and so forth. Given the demands of the courtroom environment, it is easy to become intimidated, and emotions and stress can be heightened. By contrast, in mediation the parties are separated, and the mediator meets with each party in private with their lawyer. This helps mitigate some of the stress involved in the process, which is why many Texans view mediation as a preferred strategy.
Privacy:
As mentioned above, courtrooms are open to the public, and anyone can walk in and observe court hearings. Mediation occurs in private, either at the mediator’s office or the offices of one of the attorneys. Mediation allows you and your attorney to privately confer with each other and the mediator as negotiations occur, giving you space and time to evaluate, consider strategy, get creative with settlement offers, and make decisions. Your emotions are not on display, and you are not having to face your spouse during mediation. This can create an environment more conducive to making contemplative, informed, intentional decisions that result in better resolutions for you and your family.
Motivation to Reach Resolution:
Another benefit of mediation is a heightened incentive to reach resolution. You will have to revert back to litigation if you’re not fully successful, which will increase costs, increase stress, and increase the length of time to resolve your divorce case. Understanding the law and knowing what the judge is likely to decide on the issues can also be motivation to compromise during mediation to reach a more beneficial agreement than you would receive from the judge. To optimize your experience, and derive the maximum benefit from mediation as a strategy, your goal should be to try to ensure that you resolve all your issues in mediation and stay out of the courtroom.
Plotting Mediation Strategy with Your Attorney
To best leverage mediation as a strategy, develop a strategic approach with your divorce attorney for all the unresolved issues in your case. The core issues of divorce include: property division, guardianship, child custody and possession schedules, child support, and spousal support or alimony. Depending on the particulars of your case, these areas can be quite complicated, and so your attorney will take the lead in developing a workable strategy to move forward.
This starts with first identifying all the disputed issues which need to be resolved, and then carefully plotting a course to obtain the ideal outcome, with the understanding that you will have to compromise on some or all of them. And that should begin with you assessing:
- what your core, non-negotiable goals are,
- what you’d like to get but isn’t vital, and
- what areas are you are willing to acquiesce on in order to get what is really important to you.
At Hargrave Family Law, we create a master spreadsheet with all marital property, assets, and debts to be divided. We then utilize that to shift the various awards to each party around, like a puzzle, to achieve various outcomes. Walking through various options with your attorney is crucial to going into mediation feeling mentally prepared.
And you doing your own personal work on preparing yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically for the negotiation process is just as important. Bring comfort items with you, come with mental health tools to manage your stress, bring healthy snacks to fortify you, and stay focused on your end goal: to reach resolution so you can get on with your life.
Be Prepared to Compromise
You and your attorney may be forced to pivot or alter your initial strategy in response to new developments as mediation unfolds. That’s a natural part of the give-and-take of negotiations. Being crystal clear on your true non-negotiables is important, as is accepting that you will probably not walk away with every agreement you’d like. Plotting your mediation strategy with your attorney both before and during mediation sessions helps you work through possible sticking points and be prepared to address them.
For example, if your main goal is to sell your marital house and divide the proceeds equally, your attorney will review your options and offer what they believe is the best path to reach that goal. For example, your attorney may propose that in order to achieve your goal of selling your home and splitting the proceeds, you may want to consider agreeing to something that you know your spouse really wants that doesn’t mean as much to you, such as a particular item they want or tweaking the award percentages on another marital asset.
Be Prepared to Litigate Any Remaining Unresolved Issues
If you don’t reach resolution on every issue, then they will have to be resolved in trial following mediation. While most mediations are successful at resolving some or all of the issues in divorce, there is a very real chance that mediation won’t resolve all disputed issues in your divorce. If this does occur, and you still have unresolved issues to settle, the judge will do that for you. And that comes at an additional cost. Mediation offers you a chance to reach creative resolutions that fit your family and your goals; a judge will base their decisions on the law, which often has very narrow options. Going in with the understanding of how the judge will likely decide an issue, and the additional costs associated with that process, can be a great motivator to settle at mediation with a resolution that fits your goals better.
Contact Hargrave Family Law for More Information on Preparing for Mediation
Mediation is definitely a viable alternative to traditional litigation in Dallas and throughout the State of Texas. To increase the chance of success at mediation, planning and strategizing with your attorney is highly recommended.
To recap:
- Mediation is a convenient and worthwhile alternative to traditional trial-based litigation
- Mediation provides several key benefits over traditional litigation: lower cost and stress, privacy, and motivation to settle
- Parties should take time to carefully plot mediation strategy and evaluate options with their attorney
- Be prepared to negotiate and to compromise as well, knowing you probably won’t get everything you want
- Be prepared to litigate remaining issues in court if mediation isn’t fully successful
For more information on preparing for mediation or the divorce process, reach out to us at Hargrave Family Law today. Learn about your options to start writing your next chapter with hope. We’re here to help.
Q: Is mediation required in Texas divorce cases? A: Many Texas judges require parties to attempt mediation before proceeding to trial. While not always mandatory, it is strongly encouraged and often ordered by the court.
Q: How do I prepare for divorce mediation in Texas? A: Work with your attorney to identify your non-negotiable goals, understand your marital assets, and develop a flexible strategy. Mental and emotional preparation matters just as much as legal preparation.
Q: What happens if we can’t resolve everything in mediation? A: Any unresolved issues will proceed to trial, where a judge will make the final decisions — often with less flexibility than a mediated agreement allows.
