It was 7:30 a.m., and I was at the Starbucks drive-through to pick up my venti nonfat latte when the friendly cashier asked me what I had on my agenda for the day. I replied, “I am helping good people end broken marriages!” Being an astute young man, he quickly replied, “So, you’re a divorce attorney?” I nodded my head. He then replied, “Man, my parent’s divorce was the best thing that ever happened!” He went on to explain how he is the youngest of 7 children, and his parents were both good Catholics who kept trying to make their marriage work (hence the 7 children). Eventually, when he was about 7, they called it quits. He said it was the best thing that happened to him – because his parents were no longer miserable, they each remarried wonderful people, and he had an entire crew of people loving and supporting him throughout his life. He is currently married and excited about building his own family.
I am thankful that he shared his story with me.
There are so many horror stories about the negative impact that divorce can have on a family. I never discount this when I am counseling my clients. Divorce does not solve all of your problems – you are trading one set of problems encountered in a broken marriage, for another set of challenges as you navigate co-parenting after divorce. However, staying in a broken marriage does not shield children from the negative effects of constant conflict and turmoil caused by the miserable marital relationship. Moreover, if two parents are willing to first and foremost decide that their children’s well-being is the most important goal in their divorce, it is possible to have a divorce that not only protects your children, but allows your children to flourish. I have had the privilege to help many of families realize this goal. I say this with hope, and also with caution – because if people are not careful, divorce can wreak havoc on every aspect of their life. I don’t have a magic wand to make sure that doesn’t happen. But I have learned a few strategies along the way, that give families the opportunity to transition through divorce with hope for a better future. If you are interested in learning more about how you can have a divorce that doesn’t destroy your family, we’ve developed many resources to help empower our clients to make better choices in divorce. You can start by downloading and sharing our guide, How to Divorce Without Destroying Your Family. And of course, if you or someone you know is facing divorce in North Texas, we would love the opportunity to visit with them about how to prepare for best divorce possible.