Understanding the Surge in Later-Life Separations
Divorce rates for individuals over the age of 50 has nearly doubled since the 1990’s, and has roughly tripled for those aged 65 and older. In 2010, roughly 25% of divorces in Texas and throughout the country involved people within that age range. Divorce after 50 can have a variety of emotional and financial impacts that shouldn’t be ignored.
Financial Readjustments After Divorce
- After division of the marital estate, there is less time to recoup funds that were in an investment portfolio or retirement account prior to the divorce. Also, projected Social Security income may not close the gap. A financial advisor can help you in creating a new retirement plan that balances risk.
- Divorcees will now need to cover rent, car and other payments on their own as opposed to splitting those expenses with their former spouse. Now is the time to reevaluate your budget and expenditures. You may need to change your spending habits with your longterm financial health in mind.
Education and Employment Changes
- Parents who have children in college may also need to now figure out how to pay for a son or daughter’s advanced education. Consult with your child’s education institution to explore all financial aid options. Remember that while your children have options for paying for college (e.g., scholarships, grants, loans, other family members), your options for funding your retirement become increasingly limited the closer you get to retirement age.
- Re-entering the workforce in order to cover expenses at a later age can be quite challenging. However it may be a necessity, so thinking outside the box as to how to market yourself, sharpening your skills or learning new ones, wider networking, and exploring new career paths may be in order.
- In many cases, those who are older have more money and other assets compared to younger couples who get divorced. For instance, a divorced person who is 50 or older will have on average $50,000 more in assets compared to someone under the age of 50. Those assets will be helpful in re-establishing their finances on their own. Consult with a financial advisor about how to make the most of your assets as you plan for your new financial obligations and for retirement.
- Those divorcing after 50 may be ending a second marriage, and may not be entitled to very much, if any, of that partner’s Social Security benefits, so that will need to be factored in to financial planning.
- If you did not end up keeping the marital home for yourself, you may be faced with trying to qualify for a home loan by yourself or just deciding to rent. If you are establishing a new home, make sure your credit report is in the best shape possible, and that any former joint liabilities have been removed.
Social and Emotional Transitions
- Long-established social circles may change. Take this opportunity to reevaluate those close to you, and nurture relationships with those who support you, encourage you, lift you up, and always provide a bit of fun, too!
- Adult children are also affected by their parents’ divorce. Grandchildren may also be a consideration. Recognize their need to adjust to the new situation, and be available to listen and to let them know they’re still loved and that you will be okay.
Individuals who are looking to end their marriage at any age are well-advised to consult with an attorney in advance. There are a variety of legal issues that need to be considered, but with divorce after 50, many more issues should be considered. An attorney can address all of these issues and often help you negotiate a settlement agreement that provides a financial foundation upon which to build your new life as you enter this next stage.
Jennifer Hargrave sat down with Dr. Kevin Carlson to discuss the complexities and increasing prevalence of gray divorce, which affects couples over the age of 50 who have often spent a significant portion of their lives together. Dr. Carlson shared insights into the unique emotional and social challenges that arise during such divorces, offering a deeper understanding of the impacts on both individuals and families.
Understanding the Emotional Landscape of Gray Divorce
Divorce later in life, often called “gray divorce,” presents unique challenges and emotional intricacies. Dr. Kevin Carlson, an expert in family dynamics, sheds light on the emotional and social aspects of divorces among those aged 50 and above, which have been increasing in frequency.
Dr. Carlson notes that the roots of gray divorce often lie in deep-seated issues that may have been simmering for decades. Couples may drift apart or find that their interests diverge significantly as they age. Sometimes, the catalyst for divorce might be as abrupt as an affair, but often, it’s simply an accumulation of years of unhappiness or indifference that finally reaches a tipping point.
Coping Mechanisms and Emotional Impacts
One significant emotional impact of gray divorce is the difference in how men and women cope with the transition. Women, Dr. Carlson suggests, tend to have stronger social networks and are generally better at seeking emotional support. Men, on the other hand, might struggle more with loneliness and the health repercussions that come from living alone in older age. The stress and isolation can have tangible effects on their physical health, increasing their risk for serious conditions like heart disease.
Social Changes and Support Systems
Socially, gray divorce can lead to a reshaping of one’s social identity and standing. Couples might find that their social circles, which were often formed as couples, might choose sides or drift away, adding a layer of social isolation to the emotional stress of a divorce. The financial implications of divorce at this stage in life can also force adjustments in lifestyle that may affect social interactions and activities.
Advocating for Collaborative Divorce
For individuals navigating this challenging phase, Dr. Carlson emphasizes the importance of emotional support, whether through friends, family, or professionals. He also points to the benefits of collaborative divorce processes, which aim to minimize conflict and promote a more amicable resolution. This approach can help preserve family relationships and reduce the emotional toll on all involved, including adult children and grandchildren, who can also feel the ripple effects of gray divorce.
Understanding these dynamics is crucial for anyone going through a gray divorce. It highlights the need for comprehensive planning that considers emotional well-being and social stability, alongside the financial and legal aspects typically associated with divorce proceedings.
