Getting Through the Holidays When You Are Preparing for a Divorce

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It’s the Holiday season and the end to a year like no other.  While some people are working to salvage any semblance of normalcy using their cherished holiday traditions, some people are just trying to make it through this time of year knowing that a divorce and a profound family transition are on the horizon in the New Year.

2020 has been a revealing year.  Without the normal distractions that keep families preoccupied, many spouses have realized that they are in a broken relationship that is beyond repair.  Many are questioning whether divorce is the next step for them and are enduring the holidays one more year with the resolve that they will begin the divorce process in the new year. 

If you recognize yourself in that situation, we encourage you to be both proactive and pragmatic as this year comes to a close. There are many important things you can do now to prepare yourself and your family for an easier divorce process in the New Year. Below are some actions you can take now to help prepare for a divorce that may be on your horizon:

ORGANIZE YOUR FINANCIAL INFORMATION.

Many people already use the end of the year as a time to take a deeper look at their personal finances, so we believe this is a great time of year to begin organizing all of your records without sparking and suspicion. Also, with our enforced downtime at home, now is a great time to gather and preserve bank statements, credit card statements, past tax returns, and other financial information that will be helpful for you in the divorce process.  This is a key step in educating yourself as to the current state of your finances and to planning for your financial stability during and after a divorce.

START WORKING WITH A THERAPIST FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN.

If you are contemplating divorce, your life likely involves unresolved conflict, increased stress, and unsettling uncertainty. This can unconsciously be passed down to your children as well. Seeing a reputable therapist can help you gain clarity on your own unhappiness, the state of your marriage, your expectations, and what you truly want for your future. 

Likewise, if you have young children and you’ve been living in a relationship with conflict, now is a good time to research a therapist who can help them navigate the changes that will be forthcoming.  Even if you don’t end up getting a divorce, a great therapist is a resource that can be beneficial for other issues your children may be facing.

In addition to engaging a therapist, make sure you read our post called 10 Tips for Helping Children Through Divorce.

FOCUS ON THE GOOD.

Even if your home is full of conflict, you can turn your focus to the traditions within your power to celebrate that can provide moments of joy (even if only for a moment). That can be as simple as a quiet moment with a steaming mug of warm apple cider, or a drive to look at holiday lights (boisterous singing optional). Looking for opportunities to be of service to others, and involving your children in those opportunities, can be another alternative to redirect your focus. It is important to maintain other possible traditions that you cherish, even if that means in an updated, minimized, or reinvented way. The point is to look for opportunities to invite the joy of the season into your home.  Who knows, perhaps that will result in a brief period of peace during the holidays.

MEET WITH A DIVORCE ATTORNEY.

If you are wondering whether divorce is right for you, now is a great time to educate yourself about the divorce process. An attorney can help you focus on and identify what your true goals are, inform you about your options, and help you start to build a plan to get you to your next chapter. There is important homework you can do now before filing for a divorce, and meeting with an attorney can help you prepare for information you need to gather.  

But know that who you hire will be the most important factor in the kind of divorce you have. 

There are different kinds of divorces and different kinds of divorce attorneys.  You may envision a stereotypical bulldog divorce attorney like in movies, and think you need one of those. Or you may be frightened by the horror stories you’ve heard from friends and families about their “war of the roses” style divorce. In our experience though, these types of adversarial and high conflict attorneys and divorce proceedings don’t yield the best results for either our clients or their families. So we utilize non-adversarial techniques that minimize destruction to the co-parenting relationship and preserve the dignity of the parties. We’ve also put together this blog that may help you prepare to meet with an attorney. 

LEARN ABOUT YOUR OPTIONS.

It is possible to get a divorce without unnecessary discord and destruction.  There are many types of divorce beyond the Traditional Divorce scenario.  Agreed Divorce, Mediated Divorce, and Collaborative Divorce are processes designed to help you and your spouse resolve your disputes without going to court, and they give you more control over crafting creative solutions that work for your family’s unique needs..

Our firm can walk you through the differences in each of these approaches, and help you decide on the best path for you.  The end goal is to set you up with the best process for you and your family, one that will help you focus on building a new future.

TAKING THE NEXT STEP.

As much as we can cherish the holidays, we know that they can be a difficult time for couples in a broken relationship.  We hope that in the midst of this season, during the end to one of the craziest years in recent memory, you can still find time to cherish the gifts in your life, and find some joy this season. When you’re ready, we are here to help. If you would like to set up a consultation with our firm to hear about our unique approach to helping our clients find resolution and hope, please fill out the Contact Form and we’ll be in touch. 

Compassionate Dallas Divorce Attorney Jennifer Stanton Hargrave

Collaborative Dallas Divorce Attorney, Jennifer Hargrave

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Hargrave Family Law – Compassionate Dallas Family Law Attorneys

Hargrave Family Law was founded by compassionate Dallas family law lawyer Jennifer Hargrave with a strong mission in mind. Using non-adversarial techniques, our firm advocates for you and your family during challenging life transitions in a way that helps you protect what matters most. Reach out to our team of compassionate Dallas family law attorneys at Hargrave Family Law for the support you need to navigate divorce and other family law matters. We offer a complimentary case evaluation to start your journey with us. Together, we will work towards safeguarding the happiness and well-being of your family, allowing you to write your next chapter with hope.

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Jennifer Hargrave

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Jennifer Stanton Hargrave, J.D. is the founder of Hargrave Family Law, a Dallas-based boutique family law firm that is rooted in empathy, excellence, and empowerment. Jennifer is a seasoned, well-respected Dallas divorce attorney whose career is marked by her commitment to helping families navigate the often painful and complex journey of divorce with dignity and clarity. She has made it her mission to build a robust team of professionals who share this passion and who excel in helping clients build new futures filled with hope and promise.

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Testimonials

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L.P.

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I felt fully supported throughout the entire process, and their guidance was
invaluable.

David B.

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I always felt heard and cared for by this team of professionals. 10 out of 10 would
recommend to anyone dealing with a family-law issue!

Ashleigh S.

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Hargrave Family Law was a blessing during a personally difficult time, helping us
navigate complicated aspects of divorce when assets and minor children were
involved.

Jordan T.

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Everyone there was very supportive and our family is in a better place now. Their team
even continues to check in after your case closes, which shows how much they truly
care.

Michelle A.

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Hargrave Law’s team not only provided outstanding legal expertise for my family but
also showed genuine care and compassion throughout the entire process. They took
the time to listen and understand our family’s unique situation and always made sure we
felt supported and informed.

Justin Y.

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What could have been a chaotic and emotional process was made manageable thanks
to their steady guidance. We are beyond grateful for the outcome in the case and highly
recommend this firm to anyone needing a skilled and compassionate Dallas divorce
attorney.

Jeremy Y.

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The staff here was always responsive, clear in their communication, and truly made a
difficult process much easier for everyone involved. If you’re looking for a top-notch
Dallas divorce attorney, this is the firm you want on your side.

Sharon T.

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Their understanding and professionalism throughout the process were truly remarkable,
and I am forever grateful for their role in helping me find my way to the other side.
If you're looking for a legal team that truly cares about their clients and will stand by your
side with compassion and expertise, I highly recommend Hargrave Family Law. I will
always be thankful for the support and strength they gave me.

Mike L.

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The Hargrave team made me feel heard, were compassionate and thoughtful. Most
importantly, I was comfortable trusting their advice.

Kam B.

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You cannot go wrong with Hargrave Family Law. They bring humanity along with
expertise in very difficult situations.

Christy H.

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Going through a divorce can be an emotionally overwhelming experience, but the
paralegals and attorneys at this firm made the entire process so much less stressful.

Ava H.

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From the first consultation, I felt heard, supported, and truly understood. The entire
team brings a rare combination of professionalism, compassion, and strategic expertise
to family law, which made a difficult process feel manageable and even empowering.

Liz R.

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They were able to take my case with a very quick turn around. They were personable,
caring, thorough and have been amazing all around. If I ever needed anything else, I
would go to them first.

Soo C.

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Divorce a very difficult and emotional decision for anyone to make, but finding the right
legal support was probably the most important decision I made other than taking that
step forward to end my marriage. Finding that legal support can be challenging – asking
around discretely for recommendations, meeting with them and then choosing someone
can be overwhelming. What I found with Jennifer Hargrave and the Hargrave Family
was a team with my best interests at heart. Thank you Jennifer for helping me become
the best, empowered me! My family and I thank you.

Allison B.

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Divorce is very scary, as I’m sure most legal matters probably are, but when you are
going through the process and still having to deal with the other person involved, it can
be a daunting experience. Hargrave Family Law recognizes that going through divorce
is extremely stressful and they are ready to help guide you through it. If you are looking
for an attorney who not only has the qualifications, but also actually listens and cares
about you as an individual, then I highly recommend Hargrave Family Law.

Daine C.

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They were very patient with me and fought hard to get me what I wanted. I look back
now and I’m so grateful.

Kim G.

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They helped me prepare, ease my fears, and provided such clarity and confidence
through the challenges along the way. I am now on the other side and can say I would
have never had such a smooth experience and have the life I have today without this
incredible team!

Erin B.

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My children and family dynamic were always the top priority. Every detail was
communicated to me and thoroughly explained. Jennifer and her staff were always
available to listen to my concerns and address them.

Amy B.

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They approached my situation with innovative solutions, which ultimately led to a
resolution where all parties emerged victorious. This outcome was unprecedented, and
the sense of satisfaction it brought me was beyond measure.

Angela M.

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“Jennifer was a beacon of hope for my family member at a time when her options appeared limited and the likelihood of a satisfactory resolution seemed impossible. Her calm and empathetic demeanor offered emotional succor not just to my relative, but to her wider family circle. And though it may seem trivial, she has such a great sense of humor. Sometimes you need that to get through a difficult situation. I will always feel grateful for the way she so professionally managed to obtain the end result we were all hoping for. I can truly recommend her without hesitation. And if you have a loved one needing counsel, realize there is hope. Contact Jennifer Hargrave. She will fight for you to the end.”