In this episode of The Jennifer Hargrave Show, Jennifer sits down with Dr. Susan Fletcher, a renowned psychologist, author, and forensic expert frequently appointed by courts to conduct custody evaluations. Together, they demystify what custody evaluations are, when they’re needed, and how they can impact families navigating divorce.

Dr. Fletcher explains the purpose and scope of custody evaluations — a deep, data-driven analysis of family dynamics, parent functioning, and co-parenting relationships. She outlines what kind of evidence matters (and what doesn’t), how evaluators assess parent behavior, and the critical difference between clinical and forensic roles in family law.

Listeners gain valuable insights into why therapists should not provide custody recommendations unless they are trained evaluators, the importance of verifiable data, and how custody evaluations give children a voice — without placing them in the courtroom. Dr. Fletcher also introduces key psychological concepts like “loyalty binds” and discusses the potential long-term emotional consequences for children caught in high-conflict custody cases.

Whether you’re steeling yourself for a child custody court hearing, wondering what to expect at a child custody hearing, trying to prepare for child custody hearing day, gathering evidence for child custody hearing, anticipating the questions asked in a child custody hearing, learning how to win a child custody hearing with expert child custody hearing tips, mapping the full child custody hearing process with a handy child custody hearing checklist, or focusing on the nuances of a child custody hearing in Texas, this guide has you covered.

This episode offers a compassionate yet clear-eyed look at a complex process designed to protect children’s best interests. It should be useful for attorneys, mental health professionals, or parents preparing for or involved in custody litigation.

Jennifer Hargrave:
As a mother, wife, and divorce attorney for over 15 years, I’ve learned a lot about navigating uncertainty, transitions, and finding growth through challenging times. I’m so glad you’re joining me for this part of the journey.

Today, I’m honored to welcome Dr. Susan Fletcher — a psychologist, author, and forensic expert. She’s often appointed by judges to assist families, particularly in high-conflict cases, or even when conflict is minimal, simply to help parents find resolution and provide clarity for the court. We’re lucky to have her based here in North Texas, though her work takes her all over the country.

Dr. Fletcher, thank you so much for being with us today.

Dr. Susan Fletcher:
Thanks for having me!

Jennifer:
Let’s start with the basics. What exactly is a custody evaluation?

Dr. Fletcher:
A custody evaluation is a comprehensive assessment of family dynamics — including parent functioning, child functioning, and the co-parenting relationship. It evaluates emotional stability and other critical factors. It’s typically conducted by a mental health expert to provide the court with objective, verifiable information.

Jennifer:
When do these evaluations usually come into play?

Dr. Fletcher:
They’re actually quite rare. Though we hear about them often, they occur in a minority of cases — usually the most complex or high-conflict ones. Typically, they’re ordered when a judge doesn’t have enough information to make a decision and needs an in-depth understanding of what’s truly happening in the family. One of the key roles of the evaluator is to verify the data, not just gather opinions.

Jennifer:
What kind of data are you looking at?

Dr. Fletcher:
We look for anything that reflects parenting behavior and child well-being — not the reasons the marriage ended. That includes firsthand accounts, documents like school records or medical reports, and sometimes videos. But videos can be tricky because we don’t know what happened before or after the recording. We also interview the children and relevant third parties like teachers or therapists — but only if those therapists remain within ethical boundaries.

Jennifer:
Let’s talk about those ethical boundaries. Mental health professionals can have different roles. Can you explain the distinction between clinical and forensic work?

Dr. Fletcher:
Absolutely. A forensic expert has additional training to understand the legal implications of their work. Many well-meaning therapists overstep their role — for example, making custody recommendations without evaluating both parents or verifying the claims made in therapy. That’s inappropriate and can cause harm, even if unintentional. Clinicians should stick to therapy; evaluators are responsible for the deep, unbiased data collection.

Jennifer:
That’s such an important point. What are some common pitfalls you see in evaluations?

Dr. Fletcher:
One major issue is when people only provide information that supports their narrative, especially secondhand or unverifiable data. For instance, a friend who’s never met your child but writes a glowing letter about your parenting — that’s not helpful. What matters is firsthand experience and tangible evidence. It’s also a red flag when a parent only talks about what the other parent is doing wrong. That reflects poorly on their own functioning.

Jennifer:
Speaking of parent functioning — how do you evaluate that?

Dr. Fletcher:
I ask children how each parent disciplines them, supports them emotionally, helps with school, and who they go to when they have a problem. I also look at verifiable responsibilities like who schedules doctor appointments or attends school meetings. The goal isn’t to label one parent as “better,” but to understand how parenting roles are divided and how the children perceive those roles.

Jennifer:
Many parents worry their child will have to testify. How does the custody evaluation process help prevent that?

Dr. Fletcher:
Great question. Evaluations give children a voice without putting them on the stand. I talk to them in a neutral setting, and often they express things very differently from how their parents interpret it. We also look for things like “loyalty binds” — when a child feels torn between parents and aligns with one to cope with conflict. This can manifest as resistance or refusal to spend time with one parent, which is often misinterpreted as alienation.

Jennifer:
That concept of a “loyalty bind” is so powerful. It’s heartbreaking, but also important for parents to understand.

Dr. Fletcher:
Exactly. Children benefit from having both parents involved. If one parent constantly criticizes the other, the child may internalize that negativity. It’s crucial for parents to realize that their words become their children’s internal dialogue. Our job is to help children build emotional tools — and sometimes that means setting aside our own pain to prepare them for a healthier adulthood.

Jennifer:
What are some of the recommendations you make in your final reports?

Dr. Fletcher:
I make various recommendations, including therapy goals, communication tools like OurFamilyWizard, and sometimes suggesting a parent facilitator to support cooperative parenting. I always include a section stating the report should not be shared with children — and I caution against sharing it with extended family or leaving it open on a computer. It’s confidential and deeply personal.

I also often recommend that children be allowed to bring their belongings between homes — their coat, their iPad, their favorite stuffed animal. Preventing this creates unnecessary conflict and affects their sense of stability.

Jennifer:
And just to clarify, as an evaluator, you’re not deciding the outcome, right?

Dr. Fletcher:
Correct. I’m not the decision-maker. I provide opinions, conclusions, and recommendations based on the data. The judge — or sometimes a jury in Texas — makes the final decision. My goal is to present information thoroughly, so the court has what it needs to act in the child’s best interest.

Jennifer:
How much time do you typically spend on an evaluation?

Dr. Fletcher:
A lot — more than I ever bill for. These are real families, and I take that seriously. I don’t skim the surface; I go deep. If someone mentions an incident at the school bus stop, I’ve been known to park near the street and watch for myself. I do this work with transparency and solid procedures so that my role remains neutral and credible — and to give the court the best information possible.

Jennifer:
That deep-dive approach is incredible. Final thoughts for parents going through this?

Dr. Fletcher:
Don’t view the evaluation as punishment. It’s an opportunity to grow as a parent. Even though it’s intrusive and emotionally difficult, it can be a path toward healthier co-parenting. Read the report not as an attack, but as a tool — a roadmap to show up better for your children.

Jennifer:
Thank you, Dr. Fletcher. This conversation has been incredibly insightful. For those who want to learn more, visit her blog at FletcherPhD.com. And if you found this helpful, don’t forget to subscribe on YouTube or Apple Podcasts.

Dr. Fletcher:
Thanks for having me!