Divorce doesn’t end the parenting relationship—and when co-parenting conflict continues, it can deeply affect both parents and children. In this episode of The Jennifer Hargrave Show, Dallas divorce attorney Jennifer Hargrave sits down with Dr. Linda Threats, a respected North Texas court-appointed family therapist and co-parenting expert.

Dr. Threats has spent decades working with high-conflict families in the Texas court system, helping parents learn the communication and emotional regulation skills necessary to move from conflict to cooperation.

Together, Jennifer and Dr. Threats discuss why co-parenting conflict happens, how childhood experiences shape communication styles, and what parents can do when the other parent refuses to cooperate. They also explore how unresolved anger, trauma, and emotional triggers can keep parents locked in cycles of conflict during and after divorce.

Dr. Threats shares insights from her 12-week conflict resolution and virtual parenting program, explaining how parents can rebuild trust, regain emotional control, and create healthier environments for their children—even in high-conflict divorce cases.

If you’re navigating divorce in Texas or struggling with a difficult co-parenting relationship, this episode offers powerful tools for creating healthier communication and protecting your children from ongoing conflict.

Whether you’re considering collaborative divorce, mediation, or litigation, learning effective co-parenting strategies can make all the difference for your family’s future.

Refined Transcript

Jennifer Hargrave:
Conflict between parents going through a divorce is normal. It happens frequently, and unfortunately that conflict can cause significant damage—especially for children.

The good news is that there are resources available to help parents navigate this difficult time. My guest today is an expert in helping co-parents find resolution and develop healthier communication skills.

Dr. Linda Threats is a well-known and highly respected resource in the North Texas courts. She is often appointed by family court judges to work with families in crisis.

We’re sitting down today to talk about her approach, the services she offers, and how she helps parents move from conflict to cooperation. Dr. Threats, I’m so excited to have you here.

Dr. Linda Threats:
Thank you for inviting me.

Jennifer:
Let’s start at the beginning. When families are assigned to work with you—often through a court order—what are the first steps when they walk into your office?

Dr. Threats:
One of the first things I do is meet families where they are. When people first come to see me, they’re usually in a highly emotional state. It’s very difficult to work with people until you first create a connection with them.

My goal is to remove some of the emotional intensity and help them begin to understand the process.

Typically, by the time families come to me, they’ve already been through a litigation process. I help them understand that they have two choices: they can continue litigating and find “peace” that often makes them bitter, or they can learn skills that help them find peace that actually makes them better.

That concept often resonates with people and helps them engage in the process.

Jennifer:
I love that idea of empowerment, because when people are going through the court system it’s easy to feel like a victim—like you have no control over what’s happening.

Helping people step back into their power seems incredibly important.

What does that look like in practice when you’re working with families?

Dr. Threats:
One of the first things I do is meet with the parents together. The first session is always a joint session, whether I’m doing reunification therapy, marital therapy, or parenting facilitation.

Watching how people interact—both verbally and non-verbally—tells you a lot about their relationship.

After that, I meet with them separately.

Those individual sessions allow me to understand who they are as individuals. I often tell clients that when they walk into my office, they are evaluating me socially, while I am conducting a clinical assessment of them.

But we are both observing one another.

Jennifer:
That’s fascinating.

Dr. Threats:
Human beings are highly sensory creatures. Even though we think of ourselves as logical and rational, much of our communication is driven by our senses and emotional cues.

When we miss those cues, communication becomes much more complicated.

Jennifer:
And communication breakdown seems to be a huge issue for couples who are divorcing.

What are some of the fundamental communication challenges you see when parents come to work with you?

Dr. Threats:
A lot of it goes back to early childhood experiences.

When children are young, they develop messages about their value and worth based on how their needs are met.

If a child’s needs are consistently met, they develop positive self-esteem. If their needs are not met, they may develop shame or guilt—believing that something is wrong with them.

These early experiences shape how we see the world and how we communicate with others.

We often say there are three communication styles: passive, aggressive, and assertive.

Passive communicators struggle to express their needs.
Aggressive communicators meet their needs at the expense of others.
Assertive communicators balance both—they recognize their own needs while respecting others.

Learning to communicate assertively is key in co-parenting relationships.

Jennifer:
And when parents are in the middle of a divorce, they’re often hurting deeply.

How does ongoing conflict affect children?

Dr. Threats:
Children are very sensitive to emotional energy.

A baby doesn’t understand words, but they understand how someone makes them feel.

When parents are in constant conflict, that negative emotional energy affects children in profound ways.

And when parents are hurting themselves, it becomes very difficult for them to consistently focus on the needs of their children.

My role is to help parents grow emotionally so they can return to a healthier place for their children.

Jennifer:
You’ve created a program that courts sometimes order parents to attend. Can you tell us about that?

Dr. Threats:
Yes. It’s called the Conflict Resolution and Virtual Parenting Program, and it’s a 12-week program.

Some people initially think that’s a long time, but when you think about it, it’s really just a short pause in your life to learn new skills.

The first three sessions are about bonding and connection. Most people come into the program upset and resistant, so we start by helping them feel comfortable and understood.

After that, we move into child development, emotional awareness, and communication skills.

We also conduct individual assessments to understand each parent’s personality style and communication patterns.

Later sessions focus on practicing new skills and exploring ways parents can improve their relationship with the other parent and with their children.

One of the most powerful exercises is asking parents to reflect on positive memories they shared with their children and the other parent.

If a child’s story only includes conflict and pain, it becomes difficult for them to heal. So part of my work is helping parents rebuild that bridge.

Jennifer:
I’ve seen firsthand how powerful your work can be. Clients sometimes resist being ordered into programs like this, but I’ve watched relationships transform and conflicts resolve.

Even in very high-conflict cases.

Dr. Threats:
Most people truly want peace. They want help and guidance.

When they feel validated and supported, they become more open to change.

I would say that about 95% of the people I work with are willing to grow and improve.

Jennifer:
Before we wrap up, I’d love for you to share a message for someone who may feel hopeless in their co-parenting relationship right now.

Dr. Threats:
Believe in yourself.

When you believe in yourself and your ability to grow, change becomes possible.

Jennifer:
I love that message.

If you’d like to learn more about Dr. Linda Threats and her work helping families navigate conflict and co-parenting challenges, we’ll include information on how to contact her.

Dr. Threats, thank you so much for joining us today and sharing your wisdom.

Dr. Threats:
Thank you.