Children of Divorce: Attorney Advice for Parents

by Jennifer Hargrave - Dallas Divorce Attorney | Apr 15, 2025

Effects of Divorce on Children

Learn what this Former “Kid in the Middle” turned divorce attorney wants every parent to know about high conflict custody litigation and divorce.

In this heartfelt episode of The Jennifer Hargrave Show, Jennifer sits down with Parker Pannell, an associate attorney at Hargrave Family Law and a child of divorce herself. Parker shares her personal story of navigating her parents’ divorce at the age of nine, offering insight into what helped her and her younger siblings adjust during a time of great change. Parker reflects on the practical challenges of shifting homes and schools, the emotional importance of consistent communication with both parents, and the subtle ways children pick up on adult conflict—even when parents think they’re shielding them. She also highlights the importance of minimizing exposure to adult issues and supporting a child’s relationship with both parents.

Drawing from both her lived experience and her professional training, Parker provides valuable guidance for parents hoping to learn how divorce affects children and to protect their children through the divorce process. The episode closes with a look at how her experiences shaped her decision to pursue family law, and how she now uses her unique perspective on children of divorce to help clients navigate similar situations with empathy and wisdom.

Transcript:

Jennifer Hargrave:
If you’re worried about the impact that divorce can have on your children, you’re not alone—and you have good reason to be. It’s true that conflict in the home can leave lasting marks on kids, but it’s also possible to go through the divorce process without creating those negative consequences. My guest today is Parker Pannell.

She’s an associate attorney here at Hargrave Family Law—and she’s also the child of divorce. She’s here to talk with us about some of the helpful things her parents did during that process and to share tips on helping children cope with divorce. Parker, thank you so much for being here.

Parker Pannell:
Thanks for having me.

Jennifer:
You’re newly licensed, right?

Parker:
I am—since October 2024.

Jennifer:
But you’re not new to family law.

Parker:
Not at all.

Jennifer:
So how old were you when your parents got divorced?

Parker:
I was nine when they filed, and the divorce was finalized when I was about eleven.

Jennifer:
Do you remember what life was like at home back then?

Parker:
I had a great childhood overall. I remember some minor conflict, but nothing that really impacted us heavily. It wasn’t a huge shock when they told us they were divorcing.

Jennifer:
Do you remember how they told you?

Parker:
Yes. I have two younger brothers—six and three at the time. My youngest brother doesn’t even remember them being married. But I remember them sitting us down and saying they had decided not to be together anymore, but they would always love us and be there for us. That reassurance was really important.

Jennifer:
Were both of your parents really involved in your life?

Parker:
Yes—very much so. They were always there in every way they could be.

Jennifer:
What were some of the biggest transitions you remember?

Parker:
Housing was a big one. My mom moved out of the marital home, and we ended up changing schools. That was a big adjustment, even though we were still close by.

Jennifer:
What did your parents do to help make that transition easier?

Parker:
They kept communication open. We were always allowed to talk to the other parent. That was huge, especially when you’re used to seeing both parents every day and then that changes.

Jennifer:
I know your dad had the expanded standard possession schedule. Did it feel like less time to you?

Parker:
Not really. He was always at our practices, school events, and meetings. I always knew we had Thursday overnights and that every other weekend time. It became our new normal.

Jennifer:
And you could call or text your parents whenever?

Parker:
Absolutely. I got my first phone around that time, and we had constant communication with both parents.

Jennifer:
Was there anything you wish your parents had done differently?

Parker:
As much as they tried, I do wish we had been kept out of certain things a bit more. Some things slipped through, and even small comments can make a lasting impact. I think they weren’t always aware of just how much we were picking up on.

Jennifer:
Kids are little sponges. You probably noticed more than they realized.

Parker:
Oh, for sure. Especially me—I was very curious. I just wanted to understand and feel some control over what was happening.

Jennifer:
How were your teen years?

Parker:
Great. By then, I was fully adjusted. At first, I didn’t know many other kids with divorced parents, but by high school, it was really common. I even helped friends going through the same thing. It became a non-factor—it was just my life.

Jennifer:
Were you able to stay focused on your activities?

Parker:
Yes, and there was always flexibility when needed. With three kids, we all had sports and school events. My parents were really good about coordinating. We had our routine but could go off script when needed.

Jennifer:
That’s a testament to good co-parenting. I always say, in a good divorce, you put the parenting plan in a drawer and don’t need to look at it again.

Parker:
Yes, although there was the occasional hiccup—like with the “right of first refusal” clause.

Jennifer:
Ah yes—when one parent has to offer the other parent time if they’re going to be away. That can get tricky.

Parker:
It did sometimes. Like if a parent was gone for 2.5 hours and didn’t notify the other—it could cause tension. It’s one of those things that seems good on paper but can lead to conflict in practice.

Jennifer:
Definitely. We always talk about being thoughtful with the timeframes—like making it for overnights rather than a quick grocery run.

Parker:
Exactly.

Jennifer:
Any other advice you’d give parents?

Parker:
Minimize what your kids see. It’s a hard time for everyone, but kids feel change even more deeply. Be open and honest—just age-appropriate. And support your child’s relationship with the other parent. Even subtle gestures like an eye-roll can affect how your child feels.

Jennifer:
Absolutely. When you speak negatively about the other parent, your child may feel like you’re speaking badly about them, too.

Parker:
Yes—my parents were both really supportive of my relationship with the other parent, and that made a huge difference.

Jennifer:
So what led you to choose family law?

Parker:
I always knew this is what I wanted to do. I’m a very empathetic person, and as someone who’s lived through a divorce, I bring that perspective into my work. I understand what it’s like to live under these orders, not just read them.

Jennifer:
You have such valuable insight. It’s so helpful to have someone who really gets how these things work in real life.

Parker:
Thank you. It’s definitely different seeing something on paper versus living it.

Jennifer:
Could you imagine what your life would have been like if your parents hadn’t divorced?

Parker:
It would be so different. At first, I felt a little embarrassed because it wasn’t as common. But I’ve gained so much—step-siblings, a stepmom, a whole bonus family. I’ve learned flexibility, and that life doesn’t always go according to plan. It’s shaped who I am.

Jennifer:
Thank you so much for being here and sharing your story. And if you’d like to learn more about Parker and her work with Hargrave Family Law, check out her profile on our website—we’ll include the link below. Stay tuned for future episodes!

Compassionate Dallas Divorce Attorney, Jennifer Hargrave

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Hargrave Family Law – Compassionate Dallas Divorce Lawyers

Hargrave Family Law was founded by Dallas divorce lawyer Jennifer Hargrave with a strong mission in mind. Using non-adversarial techniques, our firm advocates for you during this challenging life transition in a way that helps you protect what matters most. Reach out to our team of compassionate Dallas divorce lawyers at Hargrave Family Law for the support you need to navigate divorce and other family law matters. We offer a complimentary case evaluation to start your journey with us. Together, we will work towards safeguarding the happiness and well-being of your family, allowing you to write your next chapter with hope.