Earning More, Loving Better: How Couples Can Beat the Money Divide | Jennifer Hargrave on The Gordon Deal Show
In this appearance on The Gordon Deal Show, Dallas divorce attorney Jennifer Hargrave addresses new Census Bureau data showing couples are three times more likely to divorce when the wife earns more. While that statistic grabs attention, Jennifer reveals the deeper truth: income doesn’t break marriages—silence and resentment do. How couples can beat the money divide.
She shares practical insights on navigating changing power dynamics, fostering communication, and planning ahead before money becomes a source of conflict. Jennifer encourages couples to ditch outdated gender expectations, embrace transparency, and work together as a team—whether the higher earner is him, her, or both.
This conversation is a must-listen for couples balancing career success and connection, and for professionals rethinking modern partnership in today’s evolving economy.
Gordon Deal (Host):
Thanks for spending time with us on this Thursday. Data from the American Community Survey from the U.S. Census Bureau reveals that heterosexual couples are three times more likely to divorce if the wife makes more money than the husband.
What can be done? Here’s Jennifer Hargrave, family law attorney in Dallas. Jennifer, give us the data.
Jennifer Hargrave:
We’re seeing that in about one in four marriages, the wife is out-earning the husband—and that’s not surprising to me. It’s actually pretty interesting, right?
Host:
So it’s not wildly uncommon, but it is a source of tension. I imagine you’ve seen that in your practice?
Jennifer:
Yes, definitely. We’ve seen many couples where the marriage has failed and the wife is the income earner. But honestly, even in traditional marriages where the husband is the primary breadwinner, money is often a major source of tension.
Now that more women are the income earners, money is still the root of the problem—so it’s not about gender; it’s about how couples manage it.
Host:
I presume this will be an ongoing issue, since more women are enrolling in college—and likely to earn more than men.
Jennifer:
Exactly. Across most universities, women make up more than 50% of the student body, so we can expect that trend to continue. Women will likely have higher incomes in more marriages moving forward.
Host:
So, is this a reconcilable issue?
Jennifer:
Absolutely—if couples plan ahead. Before and during marriage, they need to develop the same skills any couple needs, no matter who earns more.
It comes down to communication, expectations, and the power dynamic. Too often, the higher earner—whether husband or wife—is seen as the one “in charge.” That mindset creates imbalance.
Healthy marriages require transparency, shared values, open dialogue, and a strategic plan for managing finances and roles. When those aren’t in place, resentment grows—and resentment is the real marriage killer.
Host:
We’re speaking with Jennifer Hargrave, family law attorney and managing partner of Hargrave Family Law in Dallas. We’re talking about this new survey showing marriage tension spikes when the wife earns more.
This behavior, I presume, is taught early—at home?
Jennifer:
Yes, definitely. Many of us grew up not talking about money, avoiding hard conversations, and relying on outdated models of who should earn. In traditional homes where the man was the breadwinner, most people never saw what it looks like when the woman earns more.
But this can absolutely be overcome. There’s no reason for women to “play small” or hold back career success to save a marriage. You can have both a thriving career and a healthy relationship—you just have to do the work.
That might mean working with a therapist, building communication skills, and planning your life together intentionally.
Host:
This probably needs to come up early—maybe even while dating seriously, right?
Jennifer:
Yes, absolutely. Serious dating is a great time to talk about values and expectations. And any time there’s a shift in the relationship—like having children or becoming empty nesters—that’s another good time to reconnect and realign your goals.
Ask, “What are we planning for? What do we want?” It should be a sense of “we,” not just “my career” or “my profession.”
And something often overlooked: I’ve heard from women who feel resentment because, when their husband stayed home, he built a stronger bond with the children. Those role shifts can be emotionally complex, so ongoing communication is essential.
Host:
Thanks, Jennifer.
Jennifer Hargrave, family law attorney in Dallas.
Checkout this morning with Gordon Deal here: This Morning, America’s First News, with Gordon Deal
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Hargrave Family Law – Compassionate Dallas Divorce Lawyers
Hargrave Family Law was founded by Dallas divorce lawyer Jennifer Hargrave with a strong mission in mind. Using non-adversarial techniques, our firm advocates for you during this challenging life transition in a way that helps you protect what matters most. Reach out to our team of compassionate Dallas divorce lawyers at Hargrave Family Law for the support you need to navigate divorce and other family law matters. We offer a complimentary case evaluation to start your journey with us. Together, we will work towards safeguarding the happiness and well-being of your family, allowing you to write your next chapter with hope.
