In this insightful episode of The Jennifer Hargrave Show, Jennifer sits down with etiquette expert Elise McVeigh, founder of Elise McVeigh’s Life Camp, to explore the essential role that manners play in building confidence, strengthening relationships, and navigating both personal and professional worlds. With over two decades of experience and a background in parenting three boys, Elise shares practical tips for teaching children etiquette—from basic table manners to meaningful conversations with adults.

The conversation ranges from childhood development and respectful communication to the influence of technology and social media on behavior. Jennifer and Elise also discuss divorce etiquette, highlighting the importance of courtesy, especially when children are involved. The episode is filled with wisdom, humor, and actionable advice for parents striving to raise kind, self-assured, and socially adept children in today’s complex world.

✨ Refined Transcript

Jennifer Hargrave:
As a mother, wife, and divorce attorney for over 15 years, I’ve learned a lot about navigating uncertainty, transitions, and growth. I’m so glad you’re joining me for this part of the journey.

My guest today is Elise McVeigh, founder of Elise McVeigh’s Life Camp, which she began in 2001 to teach children, young professionals, and adults important etiquette skills. She’s the author of A Parent’s Guide to Etiquette and has another book on the way. Elise, welcome!

Elise McVeigh:
Thank you so much for having me! And yes, I am a parent myself—I’ve raised three boys who are now young adults here in Dallas.

Jennifer:
That’s amazing, and I love how you tested your etiquette tips at home! What sparked your interest in etiquette?

Elise:
I’ve always loved manners—even as a child. My favorite books were Raggedy Ann’s Thank You Please and I Love You Book of Manners and The Polite Elephant by Richard Scarry. As an adult, I realized etiquette was a topic I was passionate about, and it evolved from there.

Jennifer:
So when people ask, “Why do manners matter?” what do you say?

Elise:
Manners are foundational. They affect every aspect of life—from dating to job interviews. You can be the smartest person in the room, but without social skills, you might not get the job, the opportunity, or the connection you’re looking for.

Jennifer:
Absolutely. Manners help us feel confident in social settings—knowing what to do, how to behave. They simplify life.

Elise:
Yes! Whether it’s a dinner table or a meeting, knowing things like not sitting until invited, following house rules during a playdate, and greeting adults respectfully—these things matter.

Jennifer:
Tell us more about who you work with.

Elise:
I speak to parents and professionals through Life Camp, and for children ages 3–11, we run Mrs. McVeigh’s Manners—camps and classes focused on social skills. Before COVID, we were expanding into schools and hope to resume that soon.

Jennifer:
What areas do you focus on with kids?

Elise:
It began with table manners, but about a decade ago, parents started telling me their kids couldn’t talk to adults. We now emphasize eye contact, greetings, and meaningful conversation. It’s about more than “Yes, ma’am”—it’s about engaging in dialogue.

Jennifer:
That’s such an important skill—conversing with people outside of their peer group.

Elise:
Exactly. Asking questions, showing curiosity—these open up opportunities for connection and understanding.

Jennifer:
Let’s talk about the use of titles. Should children still call adults “Mr.” and “Mrs.”?

Elise:
Absolutely. It’s regional, but I always advise using formal titles unless told otherwise. It sets a respectful tone in relationships.

Jennifer:
I agree—it creates healthy boundaries and shows affection through formality.

Elise:
And when kids call me by the wrong name, I gently correct them. It’s about setting expectations early on.

Jennifer:
Let’s shift to technology and etiquette. You’ve seen massive changes since 2001.

Elise:
Yes! Kids must understand that what they post online doesn’t go away. Even an innocent TikTok dance can resurface. Employers and colleges look at social media, so they need to think long-term.

Jennifer:
And tools like Snapchat can give a false sense of privacy. Those messages can be recorded or screenshotted.

Elise:
Exactly. Parents should enforce age limits and monitor use. I told my kids, “You have to wait,” and I’m glad I did.

Jennifer:
What about phone etiquette at the table?

Elise:
Phones should be put away. If you must use it, explain why and step away respectfully. Otherwise, it sends the wrong message—it’s disrespectful and distracting.

Jennifer:
Agreed. And it’s so tempting to look things up immediately—but we can wait.

Elise:
Yes, let’s bring back the encyclopedia days! Practice patience and presence.

Jennifer:
Now, about online safety—what do you teach?

Elise:
Kids must report anything suspicious. I’ve had friends fooled by scam DMs. Parents should check their children’s messages—not to be nosy, but to protect and teach.

Jennifer:
And messages in group chats can easily be misunderstood or misused.

Elise:
Yes! I once saw a message my son sent via his iPad and had to intervene right away. Kids need coaching—just like in sports or school.

Jennifer:
Email is another overlooked area.

Elise:
True. Students must learn to write respectfully to teachers—no slang or casual tone. It’s part of learning to be an adult.

Jennifer:
Let’s talk divorce etiquette before we wrap up. How should people handle telling others?

Elise:
Tactfully and with grace. Don’t overshare. If someone tells me they’re divorced, I ask, “Should I say sorry or congratulations?” Humor can ease tension.

Jennifer:
Yes—acknowledge it without repeating gossip. And kids don’t need to know all the adult details.

Elise:
Absolutely. Don’t badmouth your ex. The kids will figure it out on their own. They need to feel loved by both parents.

Jennifer:
That’s powerful advice. And keeping polite communication can prevent unnecessary conflict.

Elise:
Yes, a simple “Sure, I can adjust the schedule” can avoid a court battle. Just be nice.

Jennifer:
Thank you, Elise, for sharing your wisdom. To learn more about Elise’s work, camps, and books, check out the link to her website below. Thanks for joining us!