Sleep Divorce: Can Separate Bedrooms Save Your Marriage?

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Family Law Attorney Jennifer Hargrave sat down with This Morning show host Gordon Deal to talk about the holiday season, happiness, and divorce.

The episode explores whether sleeping in separate rooms marriage style—often called a separate bedrooms marriage or full-on sleep divorce—really works, detailing sleep divorce benefits, weighing sleep divorce pros and cons, showing how a sleep divorce to save marriage has become a growing sleep divorce trend, revealing what a sleeping apart relationship looks like for real sleep divorce couples, citing fresh sleep divorce statistics, and offering practical sleep divorce tips for curious partners.

Gordon Deal:

Thanks for being with us. The holiday season can be a time of happiness, of coming together with friends and family. However, it also comes with a surprising, perhaps shocking, statistic. Studies from law firms have shown that divorce rates can rise by a third after the holidays, leading some people to grimly refer to January as Divorce Month. Why? Here’s Jennifer Hargrave, family law attorney in Dallas. Jennifer, explain this.

Jennifer Hargrave:

Well, I think that if the marriage is having trouble, the holidays sort of exacerbate all the issues. So if you are arguing over values, you’re arguing over about whose holidays you’re going to follow and whose family you’re going to be spending time with during the holiday, and I think it just exacerbates all those triggers, those tender points, that can erupt into arguments. And so it’s not unusual that people kind of grin and bear it and get through the holidays, maybe for the sake of the kids. But the resentment grows, the contempt grows, and people are saying to themselves, “I am never doing that again. Get me out of this marriage.” So sort of a breaking point, I think.

Gordon Deal:

Yeah. Okay. So holidays are essentially, from a counseling standpoint, the straw that’s broken the camel’s back?

Jennifer Hargrave:

Exactly.

Gordon Deal:

You’re not just getting divorced because suddenly you don’t like each other at the holidays or because of the gifts received.

Jennifer Hargrave:

Right, right, right. Yeah. I mean, maybe. Maybe a bad gift can be that straw that breaks the camel’s back or maybe no gift or maybe not participating in helping get gifts for the family. It’s just all those things, the resentments that build up over time, and when we get to the holidays, it exacerbates everything. So I think, yeah.

Gordon Deal:

How common is it, kind of anecdotally based in your office, January all of a sudden just becomes busy and February? That’s how it works?

Jennifer Hargrave:

We find that people start coming into the office in December, not necessarily to file, but to get information about divorce. And that’s a really great idea. We always encourage that. So you can be an informed consumer of legal services. But when January comes, usually we start seeing the filings will pick up for divorce in January, especially after Valentine’s Day. That’s usually when we see the biggest spike is that February timeframe.

Gordon Deal:

Wow. We’re speaking with Jennifer Hargrave, family law attorney based in Dallas, also the founder of Hargrave Family Law. We’re talking about why divorces spike after the holidays. I thought to a certain extent holidays might help save things or patch things up? The spirit of Christmas and all that stuff. Maybe in some cases? Apparently not that often though.

Jennifer Hargrave:

Not that often. I mean, maybe. I don’t know. Those people aren’t coming into my office.

Gordon Deal:

Fair enough.

Jennifer Hargrave:

I’m seeing the ones for whom the relationship has cracked. So I think a relationship doesn’t crack is that they’ve been enduring this marriage for a really long time. Maybe they’ve already been sleeping in separate rooms. I mean, they’ve been skating thin ice for a very long time. And I think when we get to that holiday, also with the new year, you’re turning over a new leaf. You want things to be different. You realize that the path you’re going on isn’t the path you want to live on for the rest of your life. And that’s just the clarity and the resolution to change things, I think, to look forward to a fresh start is something that maybe gives people some hope for a better future. And I think that’s a good thing.

Gordon Deal:

All right. To review, the basics; if you’re thinking about this after the holidays, what’s kind of maybe step one or two here?

Jennifer Hargrave:

For somebody who’s in a marriage that’s really struggling, what I want to say is; get information. Go meet with a divorce lawyer. Go begin to understand how the process works, understand the information you’re going to need as you enter into the divorce process. And really give some serious consideration about how you’re going to tell your spouse. Generally, I advise that people don’t have it as a surprise.

Gordon Deal:

Thanks, Jennifer. Jennifer Hargrave, family law attorney in Dallas.

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Hargrave Family Law was founded by compassionate Dallas family law lawyer Jennifer Hargrave with a strong mission in mind. Using non-adversarial techniques, our firm advocates for you and your family during challenging life transitions in a way that helps you protect what matters most. Reach out to our team of compassionate Dallas family law attorneys at Hargrave Family Law for the support you need to navigate divorce and other family law matters. We offer a complimentary case evaluation to start your journey with us. Together, we will work towards safeguarding the happiness and well-being of your family, allowing you to write your next chapter with hope.

 

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Jennifer Hargrave

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Jennifer Stanton Hargrave, J.D. is the founder of Hargrave Family Law, a Dallas-based boutique family law firm that is rooted in empathy, excellence, and empowerment. Jennifer is a seasoned, well-respected Dallas divorce attorney whose career is marked by her commitment to helping families navigate the often painful and complex journey of divorce with dignity and clarity. She has made it her mission to build a robust team of professionals who share this passion and who excel in helping clients build new futures filled with hope and promise.

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Testimonials

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L.P.

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I felt fully supported throughout the entire process, and their guidance was
invaluable.

David B.

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I always felt heard and cared for by this team of professionals. 10 out of 10 would
recommend to anyone dealing with a family-law issue!

Ashleigh S.

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Hargrave Family Law was a blessing during a personally difficult time, helping us
navigate complicated aspects of divorce when assets and minor children were
involved.

Jordan T.

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Everyone there was very supportive and our family is in a better place now. Their team
even continues to check in after your case closes, which shows how much they truly
care.

Michelle A.

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Hargrave Law’s team not only provided outstanding legal expertise for my family but
also showed genuine care and compassion throughout the entire process. They took
the time to listen and understand our family’s unique situation and always made sure we
felt supported and informed.

Justin Y.

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What could have been a chaotic and emotional process was made manageable thanks
to their steady guidance. We are beyond grateful for the outcome in the case and highly
recommend this firm to anyone needing a skilled and compassionate Dallas divorce
attorney.

Jeremy Y.

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The staff here was always responsive, clear in their communication, and truly made a
difficult process much easier for everyone involved. If you’re looking for a top-notch
Dallas divorce attorney, this is the firm you want on your side.

Sharon T.

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Their understanding and professionalism throughout the process were truly remarkable,
and I am forever grateful for their role in helping me find my way to the other side.
If you're looking for a legal team that truly cares about their clients and will stand by your
side with compassion and expertise, I highly recommend Hargrave Family Law. I will
always be thankful for the support and strength they gave me.

Mike L.

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The Hargrave team made me feel heard, were compassionate and thoughtful. Most
importantly, I was comfortable trusting their advice.

Kam B.

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You cannot go wrong with Hargrave Family Law. They bring humanity along with
expertise in very difficult situations.

Christy H.

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Going through a divorce can be an emotionally overwhelming experience, but the
paralegals and attorneys at this firm made the entire process so much less stressful.

Ava H.

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From the first consultation, I felt heard, supported, and truly understood. The entire
team brings a rare combination of professionalism, compassion, and strategic expertise
to family law, which made a difficult process feel manageable and even empowering.

Liz R.

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They were able to take my case with a very quick turn around. They were personable,
caring, thorough and have been amazing all around. If I ever needed anything else, I
would go to them first.

Soo C.

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Divorce a very difficult and emotional decision for anyone to make, but finding the right
legal support was probably the most important decision I made other than taking that
step forward to end my marriage. Finding that legal support can be challenging – asking
around discretely for recommendations, meeting with them and then choosing someone
can be overwhelming. What I found with Jennifer Hargrave and the Hargrave Family
was a team with my best interests at heart. Thank you Jennifer for helping me become
the best, empowered me! My family and I thank you.

Allison B.

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Divorce is very scary, as I’m sure most legal matters probably are, but when you are
going through the process and still having to deal with the other person involved, it can
be a daunting experience. Hargrave Family Law recognizes that going through divorce
is extremely stressful and they are ready to help guide you through it. If you are looking
for an attorney who not only has the qualifications, but also actually listens and cares
about you as an individual, then I highly recommend Hargrave Family Law.

Daine C.

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They were very patient with me and fought hard to get me what I wanted. I look back
now and I’m so grateful.

Kim G.

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They helped me prepare, ease my fears, and provided such clarity and confidence
through the challenges along the way. I am now on the other side and can say I would
have never had such a smooth experience and have the life I have today without this
incredible team!

Erin B.

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My children and family dynamic were always the top priority. Every detail was
communicated to me and thoroughly explained. Jennifer and her staff were always
available to listen to my concerns and address them.

Amy B.

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They approached my situation with innovative solutions, which ultimately led to a
resolution where all parties emerged victorious. This outcome was unprecedented, and
the sense of satisfaction it brought me was beyond measure.

Angela M.

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“Jennifer was a beacon of hope for my family member at a time when her options appeared limited and the likelihood of a satisfactory resolution seemed impossible. Her calm and empathetic demeanor offered emotional succor not just to my relative, but to her wider family circle. And though it may seem trivial, she has such a great sense of humor. Sometimes you need that to get through a difficult situation. I will always feel grateful for the way she so professionally managed to obtain the end result we were all hoping for. I can truly recommend her without hesitation. And if you have a loved one needing counsel, realize there is hope. Contact Jennifer Hargrave. She will fight for you to the end.”