Three Tips for Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

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The love between a parent and child is one of the strongest things in the world. No matter the status of your relationship with their other parent, your kids are your biggest priority. In the absence of addiction or abuse, children thrive best when they are able to have strong relationships with both parents. That’s why so many parents find it important to co-parent as a team after getting divorced.

Successful co-parenting grows from predictable routines and respectful communication. Learn BIFF messaging, exchange schedules that match school needs, and documentation habits that reduce disputes; Dallas parents also see when a modification or parenting coordinator helps align the plan with a child’s best interests.

Admittedly, it can be difficult to work as a team with your ex to raise your children, especially if your divorce was particularly bitter and acrimonious. Our extensive experience in the world of family law has given us excellent perspective on the ins and outs of divorce, but also on the ins and outs of life after divorce. Read on to discover our tips for a smooth and successful co-parenting journey

1. Don’t undermine your ex’s authority.

Although you may still feel resentment towards your ex, don’t use this as an excuse to badmouth them to your child. When your child is present, you should always speak of your former spouse with respect. If you do, it can cause your child to take them less seriously as an authority figure. This makes it more difficult for your ex to do important parts of parenting like disciplining and giving guidance, which ultimately has a negative impact on your child.  Even if you disagree with decisions your ex is making (providing they are not endangering your child), it is best for your children if you support your ex; and then address issues or concerns with your ex when your children are not present.  

2. Present a united front.

When it comes to the big issues, you need to be on the same page as your ex. It can be confusing for children if mom gets mad when they don’t do their homework while dad says it’s not important. You don’t have to agree on everything, and the rules don’t have to be exactly the same in each home, but children need a certain level of consistency and they don’t need to see their parents bickering about what is and isn’t the right parenting move.  Find agreements where you can, and work really hard to not allow your children to see you arguing.

3. Communicate.

#2 isn’t possible without communication. Talking with your ex can feel like a chore at best or an emotional landslide at work. But still, you need to communicate about everything from pickup and dropoff times to Sally’s difficulties in math class. Keep conversations kid-related and don’t stray off-course. Remember that you both have the same ultimate goal: to keep your children happy, healthy, and thriving.  Dr. Bill Eddy advises that, especially in high conflict co-parenting situations, you keep your communication: Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm. Don’t waste your time arguing, advising or admonishing the other side. This is an incredibly important communication skill to master when you have an ex. You can learn more at Dr. Bill Eddy’s High Conflict Institute.

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The experienced attorneys of Hargrave Family Law are here to help with your child custody disputes and other family law needs. Whether you need a standard visitation schedule approved by the Court or a creative solution that works for you and your co-parent’s unique situations, reach out to us today to find out if we can help you find the right solution for your family.

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Hargrave Family Law was founded by compassionate Dallas divorce lawyer Jennifer Hargrave with a strong mission in mind. Using non-adversarial techniques, our firm advocates for you and your family during this challenging life transition in a way that helps you protect what matters most. Reach out to our team of caring Dallas family law attorneys at Hargrave Family Law for the support you need to navigate divorce and other family law matters. We offer a complimentary case evaluation to start your journey with us. Together, we will work towards safeguarding the happiness and well-being of your family, allowing you to write your next chapter with hope.

 

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Jennifer Stanton Hargrave, J.D. is the founder of Hargrave Family Law, a Dallas-based boutique family law firm that is rooted in empathy, excellence, and empowerment. Jennifer is a seasoned, well-respected Dallas divorce attorney whose career is marked by her commitment to helping families navigate the often painful and complex journey of divorce with dignity and clarity. She has made it her mission to build a robust team of professionals who share this passion and who excel in helping clients build new futures filled with hope and promise.

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