Episode Summary:
In this insightful episode of The Jennifer Hargrave Show, Jennifer sits down with Dr. Victoria Harvey, a licensed psychologist who frequently conducts court-ordered psychological evaluations in family law cases. They explore the common mental health labels like narcissism, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder that often arise in custody litigation—and how these terms are often misused or misunderstood.

Dr. Harvey clarifies the difference between clinical diagnoses and pop culture labels, and she walks listeners through what a psychological evaluation actually entails. From self-report assessments and collateral interviews to distinguishing between situational behavior and personality disorders, Dr. Harvey emphasizes that evaluations are complex, comprehensive, and ultimately meant to help families.

The conversation also highlights the distinction between psychological and custody evaluations, how evaluations can inform treatment plans, and the stigma around mental health in court. Dr. Harvey offers reassurance that mental health struggles do not automatically equate to poor parenting—and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

During a psychological evaluation custody, the comprehensive custody psychological assessment or parenting fitness evaluation may employ psychological testing child custody tools like the MMPI in custody evaluation, benefit from solid custody evaluator interview tips, include detailed child observation custody evaluation, so preparing for psychological evaluation custody helps you interpret the psychological evaluation report custody and mount any challenges to psychological evaluation findings.

Whether you’re facing a custody evaluation or just curious about the process, this episode provides clarity, compassion, and a hopeful message: there is always a path forward.

Transcript:

Jennifer Hargrave:
Narcissism, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, histrionic personality disorder, alcoholism. These are just some of the labels that frequently get tossed around in custody litigation. My guest here today is going to talk with us about psychological testing—how we know when these labels apply, what they mean if they do apply, and how we can help parents navigate the very uncertain waters of co-parenting after a divorce.

Dr. Victoria Harvey is a licensed psychologist, and she frequently is called upon by the courts to conduct psychological testing to help us better understand the patterns we’re seeing. Dr. Harvey, thank you so much for taking time to be here today.

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Thanks so much for having me.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Okay, so first of all, one of the things we’re talking about is how these labels get tossed around a lot. I want to ask you, as a psychologist, what do these labels mean? What are we really looking at when we talk about narcissism and bipolar disorder and the host of labels?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Certainly. I think one of the first things we have to differentiate is between pop culture labels versus clinical labels. When psychologists use these labels, we’re referring to a specific set of criteria a person has demonstrated—whether they are symptoms experienced internally or signs observable to others. These criteria must be met to warrant a diagnosis, which can be very different from pop culture interpretations.

As evaluators, these labels help us understand a person’s behavior, their prognosis, and inform our treatment recommendations.

Jennifer Hargrave:
So how do you do that? I mean, when I’m looking at narcissistic descriptions—it’s very popular today. There are lots of little online tests you can take to figure out if your partner has one of these labels. How does testing really inform us about what’s going on?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
That’s a great question. Testing is actually a small portion of a psychological evaluation. Sometimes, I don’t even conduct testing if it’s not appropriate. Evaluations are much broader—we collect a full history, review mental health and medical records, look at criminal backgrounds, contact CPS, and interview collateral sources.

Testing can help us generate hypotheses, but it’s not the only or even the main component of the evaluation.

Jennifer Hargrave:
So let’s back up a bit. How does someone even get to your office? Who’s deciding a psychological evaluation is needed?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Most of the time, it’s court-ordered. The court needs more information about someone’s psychological functioning to make decisions about a child’s best interests. Sometimes, both parties agree through a Rule 11 agreement. Very rarely do people voluntarily seek an evaluation outside of litigation.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Do you usually evaluate one party or both?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
It’s a pretty even split. Sometimes both parties have concerns about each other. Sometimes only one party is being evaluated.

Jennifer Hargrave:
What are the different tests that might be part of the evaluation?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
There are many, and I choose from a battery based on the concerns at hand. Most are self-report tests, not medical tests. The only exception might be substance use, where we sometimes request urine, blood, or hair samples.

Jennifer Hargrave:
So when someone takes a self-report test in a litigation context, how does that play out? Isn’t there a tendency to want to look good?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Absolutely. We call it “positive impression management.” People want to present themselves in the best light. Our tests are normed for custody evaluations, so we account for that. Also, some individuals lack insight and truly don’t see how their behaviors affect others. That’s why collateral data is critical.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Let’s talk about collateral sources. Who are they and how do people choose them?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
I always ask for professionals—therapists, facilitators, doctors—people who can provide an objective view. Family members can also be helpful, though we take those with a grain of salt. I want a well-rounded view, so I ask for both personal and professional sources.

Jennifer Hargrave:
You’re not just relying on the complaints of one parent, then?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Exactly. I use the co-parent’s concerns to guide the evaluation, but I look beyond that.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Can you help clarify the difference between a psychological evaluation and a custody evaluation?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Absolutely. Custody evaluations involve the whole family—children, home visits, full records—and result in recommendations for possession and conservatorship. Psychological evaluations are narrower. We assess whether someone has a mental illness and how it affects their parenting, but we don’t make conservatorship recommendations.

Jennifer Hargrave:
What’s the goal of the psychological evaluation? Are you diagnosing?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
That’s a hot topic. Some evaluators avoid diagnosing to prevent misuse. I do diagnose, but I also explain what it means and how it affects parenting. Labels can be helpful when used properly.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Sometimes people think getting that diagnosis will give them all the answers, but it doesn’t necessarily.

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Exactly. Someone may have a diagnosis and still be a wonderful parent. Others may not have a diagnosis but exhibit problematic behaviors.

Jennifer Hargrave:
And sometimes those behaviors are situational, right?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Yes. Divorce is emotionally charged, and some behaviors are temporary. Part of our job is to distinguish between situational reactions and persistent mental illness.

Jennifer Hargrave:
What about someone who’s had depression in the past—how does that affect an evaluation?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
I look at how they’ve managed it. Seeking help and following treatment recommendations shows accountability and often puts someone in a stronger position than someone who ignored the problem.

Jennifer Hargrave:
That stigma is still so strong. I’ve had clients say their attorney advised them not to go to therapy so their records wouldn’t be discoverable.

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Yes, and that’s heartbreaking. Therapy is about improving your life—not just your court case. You’re teaching your children how to deal with hardship by showing them it’s okay to seek help.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Let’s talk about misuse of evaluations. Do people try to game the system?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Some come in hoping I’ll validate them and “prove” the other parent is the problem. That’s not our role. Others, including attorneys, want labels to use in court. That’s why I always explain diagnoses and add disclaimers in my reports that mental illness doesn’t equal bad parenting.

Jennifer Hargrave:
There’s always a path forward, right?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Absolutely. There’s no such thing as hopeless. We offer recommendations, a path forward—but people have to be willing to walk it.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Some of those serious diagnoses like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder—if managed—can actually be more treatable than personality disorders, right?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Yes. Medication can help manage those conditions. Personality disorders often require long-term, intensive therapy, which is hard work but still doable.

Jennifer Hargrave:
So what’s the difference between having traits versus a full personality disorder?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Personality disorders are pervasive. Traits might show up in one relationship, but a disorder shows up across time and contexts—work, friendships, family. It’s a high bar to meet.

Jennifer Hargrave:
And even if the other parent is problematic, you still have your own work to do, right?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Exactly. Even if they’re 99% of the problem, you’re responsible for your 1%. That insight is where real growth happens.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Psychological evaluations can feel cold and clinical compared to therapy. What should someone expect?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Yes, I keep a boundary between those roles. In evaluations, I’m objective—I gather data, ask detailed questions, and maintain emotional distance to preserve neutrality. People should expect multiple appointments, testing, and record reviews.

Jennifer Hargrave:
And nobody gets a perfect score.

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Exactly. It’s not a pass/fail. There’s no perfect parent. Evaluations give insight into strengths and areas for growth.

Jennifer Hargrave:
As we wrap up, what message of hope would you offer to someone going through this?

Dr. Victoria Harvey:
Having a diagnosis doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. If there are issues, they can be addressed. There’s always a path forward—it just takes willingness to do the work and connect with the right professionals.

Jennifer Hargrave:
Beautiful. We all have mental health—learning to take care of it is one of the best gifts we can give our children. Thank you so much, Dr. Harvey. If you want to learn more about her practice here in North Texas, we’ll include a link in the description. And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it and subscribe for more.